This piece was originally written dated July 1, 2007 with original title "My Own Piece of Sadness". Reaching almost ten years, I guess the wheel of life had took its turn once again and I am at the lowest point at this time. Not yet ready to share the experience though. Maybe in due time...but as of now, I need to find a way to cope with it.
MELANCHOLIC, DESPONDENT, DEPRESSING, GLOOMY, MISERABLE, CHEERLESS, HEARTBREAKING, HEARTRENDING, POIGNANT, DISTRESSING, UNHAPPY, SORROWFUL, DOWN. . .
There are so many words to describe an emotion when you face an untoward incident like a member of your family become sick one after the other, you are pressured at work, you have issues at home, you have debts to pay or in a deep financial burden, a relative died, your sibling suffered from fire accident and so on. If you happen to undergo this doom all at the same time, how would you react?
Whew, life can be so downright depressing sometimes or most of the times that one would wonder “Why do I have to be so unlucky?” UNLUCKY or unfortunate events, whatever one calls it are like uninvited visitors in one’s life. No person in his right frame of mind would wish for these unwanted guests for sure. So irritating or exasperating that you cannot just let them simply disappear. You have to endure them for as long as they are there, you need to learn how to cope or to try your best how to outsmart and to overpower them. What a huge relief if you survive their annoying presence without suffering too much hostility. Those things brought by inauspicious chances seem to be my lot nowadays and I just do not know and understand WHY. Could it be that I’ve been too slack in my spiritual responsibility, or I’ve been bad (unwittingly) to people (i.e. because others tend to perceive me as such for being somewhat too distant, sometimes moody and other times panicky depending on the situation I was in), or there are just mean people who wish to see one person suffer (which I want to think otherwise), or simply because life is like that?
In going through all these problems I think I already given my self enough moment to grieve, enough time to complain, enough ways to plan and enough reason to make myself believe that the stroke of bad luck shall pass but I miss my time to pray to GOD. I feel sorry for being too proud, for believing that I could overcome these things after some time.
I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”